am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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