nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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