being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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