Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize