I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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