We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
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Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
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Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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