she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
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i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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