he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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