I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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