There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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