Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He told me they were just razor bumps!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize