um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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