I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize