i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
being pregnant is like rehab
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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