Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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