and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize