Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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