Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize