i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize