Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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