Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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