it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
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She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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