Jerry, you need to find god
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I forget how to act sober
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize