I'd wear matching sweaters with you
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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