My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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