i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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