my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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