i just made my gag reflex go away.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize