kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
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I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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