Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize