I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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