last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
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areolas are like halos for boobs.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
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bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize