He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
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we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
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I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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