Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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