i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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