i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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