Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize