he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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