god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize