i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize