sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize