i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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