Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize