I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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