You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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