There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize