I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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