I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize