So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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