is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize